What makes someone an alpha male or perhaps alpha female type of character, and how to deal with them if they’re causing you a problem in your personal or work life?
Firstly there is a difference between a true alpha and a wannabe alpha. True alphas rarely cause other people problems, so this article will be focusing on dealing with those sometimes troublesome alpha wannabes.
The characteristics of the truth alpha type
They are natural leaders, meaning people follow them freely rather than being forced to follow. They never force anything, they don’t need to, they have a good balance of physical and mental strength and health. They have everything in good balance, they are confident but not arrogant, they like attention and approval however they don’t need it or seek it out.
True alphas don’t excessively try to boost up their egos by putting other people down, they have a strong identity and they’re self aware. They’re confident in themselves and they don’t let their emotions make decisions for them.
The characteristics and motivations of the wannabe alphas
Most of it is simply egotistical thinking and ego boosting fueled by insecurities, a psychological need to have power over others and also being influenced and mislead by societal standards. They are aggressively seeking social status. These people don’t have as many aspects of themselves under control. They are mostly the complete opposite of a true alpha, they don’t have good control over their emotions and they put others down to make themselves feel and look good.
People don’t naturally follow or respect them in the same way so they use tactics to try and gain it (social status). They will use intimidation tactics like talking loudly, sometimes acting aggressively to try and show their dominance, for example a group of usually young men being loud and obnoxious. This sort of behavior can partly come from the excessive need for approval and validation and to seek attention from others, also societal/group pressures, deep routed low confidence and/or weak identity issues.
How to deal with the wannabes
- Because of their irrational need and aggressive tactics to seem like the alpha their arguments will have many flaws. Find those flaws and you can disarm them, they will either leave you alone in the future or rethink their attitude, it’s a win win situation.
- Like the first reason, their irrational need to be the alpha will lead to them using many undesirable tactics like lying, discriminating, seeking approval/validation and generally being primitive. Point out their ape like behavior to let them know you can see straight through it.
- Standing up to them verbally maybe enough for them to back off. They are only pretending to be the alpha for the sake of their ego and their image, so they’re more than likely to back down once confronted.
- Like a bully the fake alpha may attack when they see weakness. Make strong eye contact, speak clearly and confidently, this shows strength which makes it less likely that they will try any of their domineering tactics on you.
Keep in mind that people do react differently when being confronted, some may back down, or you could make your self more of a target depending on the person or situation and the method used.