We all have egos however for some people the ego is more influential in our everyday lives, with a constant need to satisfy that ego.
A constant need to satisfy our egos can be a limiter to our success and happiness and even be a destructive force.
How do you know if your ego is controlling your life? do any of these apply to you?
Comparing yourself to others
Are you always comparing your achievements, your possessions and yourself to other people? Do you use these comparisons to judge how well you are doing in life. This can be healthy competition and it can motivate somebody to do better and achieve more if done in moderation.
However if the ego is allowed to take over it can lead to a lot of negative character traits and emotions like jealousy. It can lead to such a strong desire to beat other people that competitiveness can turn into cheating, stealing or general small minded tactics such as gossiping. Personal morals and integrity can be pushed to one side to better somebody else. Anything to win no matter what the cost is all too common in modern western society.
Never being content
Are you never satisfied with anything for very long, always seeking something better, a bigger house a new car, more money or social status. Do you believe that these possessions or achievements show how well you are doing in life and that your happiness is dependent on achieving these things, this type of pursuit is driven by the ego. Goals are great to have, however ego driven goals will lead to never being satisfied for very long, these goals will lead to greed, jealousy and never being for filled.
A feeling of superiority
The ego always wants us to feel good about ourselves. Here are a few examples of ways in which we can seek to feel superior. Putting other people down (gossiping), constantly patronizing or condescending people.
I must admit it can be very difficult to keep your feelings of superiority in check. If you are able to rise above certain behaviors such as gossiping, it can lead to another type of feeling superior. If you believe gossiping about or patronizing someone is beneath you, it can be very hard not to allow your ego to make you feel superior over those people that do gossip.
Why is it bad to feel superior? if you are always looking to feel superior you will be doing a lot of undesirable things such as lying, back stabbing, criticizing which will hurt yourself in the long term and also others around you. If your need to feel superior is constant, you will also be prone to feeling inferior which can lead to negative feelings and even depression.
A constant need to feel superior is like somebody not having control over their self image, it’s a dangerous and unstable place to be.
Are you always waiting for something or someone?
Have you ever said to yourself “if I just had this one thing in my life I would be happy”? whether that thing be money, a career or a relationship. Even when you achieve your goal it still didn’t fill that hole or make you happy like you thought it would. This is because your ego is in the driving seat, societal pressures among other things are influencing your ego and telling you, you need more to be happy and successful.
If you are always waiting for that one thing to make you happy, you will not be able to appreciate what you already have and enjoy the moment that you are living in.
Other signs your ego is in control
- Talking about yourself too much.
- Only caring about the win, not the performance.
- Blaming other people for your own failures.
- Always having to have the last word in an argument.
- Believing that your way of doing things is the right way and other people should conform to your way of doing things.