How to Influence People?

How to Influence People

Being able to influence people is a good skill to have, imagine being able to get your own way more often, or getting that job promotion just because you understood the basics of influence.

One way to influence people is to simply get them to like you, people are far more likely to be influenced by you if they like you. Being direct isn’t always the best way to influence people, being subtle and indirect is usually more effective.

How to influence people with these psychology tips


Basic applied psychology is, if you compliment someone they will like you, and if they like you, you may be able to influence them. However there are exceptions to this, if your compliment is not perceived as genuine or maybe there is an ulterior motive, it may actually have the opposite affect, so be careful when attempting this.

Nod as you talk

The idea is that if you nod while talking you are putting across positive energy, which is contagious. People also tend to mimic behaviors, so somebody could actually end up being more receptive to what you are saying or your ideas just because you are nodding while you talk. This can also have a positive affect while listening to somebody else talking, it shows you are listening and that you respect their thoughts, opinions and ideas which they will appreciate.

Learn names

Always learn somebody’s name and use it often, it’s a compliment to learn somebody’s name and they’re more likely to like you for it, and therefore be influenced by you. It also validates them as a person.

Use a title or belief

The idea is that if you call somebody by a title, for example “friend”, then they might actually start to think of themselves as your friend. This is the flip side of thinking of yourself in a certain way, and then you become the person that you were picturing yourself as. This is related to the consistency principle.

Mimicking others

Mimicking certain things about a someone else is basically an indirect compliment, the person doing the mimicking is complementing the other person. If you validate or complement someone they are much more likely to like you, and do things for you. This is actually something that people do unconsciously naturally, however it can become a conscious skill.

Have strong beliefs

If you have a stronger belief than another person with an opposing idea, then your belief or idea will become more dominate than theirs, therefore you get your own way. This is a similar idea to, if you say something or act with enough authority you will get away with it, or your reality will dominate. In the movie, “Catch Me If You Can”, based on a true story. Frank Abagnale passed himself off as a Teacher, Airline Co Pilot, Doctor and a Lawyer by talking with confidence and authority. However this is another one where caution should be used when attempting this, it could go badly wrong.

Make an unreasonable offer

This idea is to make somebody an offer that is unreasonable which they are likely to refuse. Later make a much more reasonable request, and because they refused you the first time they are much more likely to say yes a second time. Especially if the second request is much more reasonable. This is related to the contrast principle.

Don’t tell people they’re wrong

If you tell somebody that they are wrong very directly it attacks their very core, their ego, therefore they may reject anything you have to say just because you offended them. Instead listen and respect people’s ideas, give praise and offer constructive criticism where it’s due, then suggest your own ideas. They’re much more likely to consider your thoughts and ideas if they like you and you show them respect.

Let them think it’s their idea

People are much more likely to accept an idea if they thought of it themselves. So instead of coming straight out with an idea you may have, you could try inserting ideas and suggestions into the head of the person that you are trying to influence. If you can insert your idea into somebodies head indirectly, it may seem like they came up with the idea themselves.

Don’t stand head on with someone

Standing toe to toe with somebody can be seen as aggressive or confrontational body language. When approaching somebody new, or dealing with somebody who is aggravated, stand side by side with that person or not directly head on, it could ease tension, make somebody more comfortable or even disarm a hostile situation.

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