Negative people, we all know them or have known them at some point in our lives, they drain our energy and suck the life out of us.
Before we can deal with these negative people we must first identify them. Some of them may be very easy to identify while others maybe a little more difficult to spot.
Things to look for in yourself when around these people
- Feeling tired, drained or even ill.
- Being demeaned and put down in some way.
- Not being able to relax or feeling on edge.
- Strong feelings to escape and get away from them.
The different types of negative people
The Narcissist, narcissists are often looking for ways to make themselves feel good, sometimes they can do this by putting others down in order to boost themselves up. I have personally known a few people like this, and I try and avoid them as much as possible.
The Blamer, someone who is always blaming somebody or something, also known as a victim. They don’t take responsibility for the bad things that happen to them, it’s always somebody else’s fault. See locus of control.
The Drama Queen, they are always making a mountain out of a mole hill, causing drama and problems, generally being negative.
The Negative Thinker, some people generally think negatively, they see the worst in situations and people. They see the worst in other people because they are just projecting their negativity.
How to deal with them?
Understanding them may help. Reasons can stem from confidence issues or they may have a misguided view of the world and the people in it. For example some people may believe that manipulation is the only way to get want they want, or that being hurtful to others is the only way that they can feel good about themselves.
It could also be down to genetics, such as being high in the trait of neuroticism, which is one of the big five traits.
Understand that if you are being judged negatively, it’s only because they are projecting their views and beliefs onto you. Sometimes they can bring us down, but understanding this can really help to disregard anything that they say.
Don’t allow yourself to be drawn into their negative world and way of thinking, don’t allow them to infect you. Instead you could try and infect them with your more positive outlook.
You could even simply just avoid them all together if possible. This may not be suitable for every situation but it’s certainly effective.
Ask them to be more positive, the next time they are telling you about something bad that happened to them, ask them about the good things. Sometimes people just get into the habit of being negative, they may just need to break that habit.
Do you know someone like this?
Have you ever met somebody that puts you down in a group situation, around friends and family. They can be very difficult to deal with, you may confront them about it and it could make the situation even more difficult. They may feed off the talk or confrontation that you had, and use it to put you down even further publicly.
These people are both narcissists and blamers, always looking for that ego boost by putting others down and blaming others for any negativity that comes from it. One thing you could do is avoid them as much as possible. Even if they are family, you need to protect yourself, we shouldn’t have to put up with that from anyone.
Understanding why they do it can help, it’s one of the few ways that they can feel good about themselves. They have no integrity, choosing to get their ego boost anyway that they can, and they can’t take responsibility for their actions, it’s simply childish and primitive behavior.