No One Listens To Me

So why is it that no one listens to your ideas or suggestions? It can be a frustrating and confusing issue.  There could be a very simple and correctable solution, or it could be something that requires a little more time and energy to get to the bottom of.

Why no one listens to me?

Are you being overly critical when you comment or make a suggestion? People tend to be repelled by negativity. If you are constantly criticizing or being negative, your suggestions may get rejected due to your negative tone or wording.

Reasons why no one listens to you?

What is your intention?

What I mean is, what is your intention when you open your mouth? are you actually trying to be helpful and constructive or is there an underlining meaning? For example, are you simply looking for attention? Are you looking for an ego boost? Or are you trying to put somebody down? It maybe a combination of these things.

People can often pick up on your real intentions. So, if they think you are just trying to make yourself look good, they will be less likely to take your comments seriously.

Are you listening?

Sometimes we get carried away trying to share our own thoughts, and we often don’t listen to other people and their feedback. If you don’t listen to other people, they are unlikely to listen to you simply out of spite. This goes back to an old saying. “Treat others how you wish to be treated”.

Not paying attention to feedback can also make you seem arrogant, closed-minded, and even deluded. This can cause people to lose confidence in you.

How is your tone of voice?

Your voice tone gives away a lot. It can make you seem aggressive and confrontational, which could make a situation and people around you uncomfortable, therefore less likely to want to pay attention to you. It can also make you seem non-assertive, and your ideas may simply be overlooked due to your lack of conviction about expressing them. The wrong voice tone can even project a lack of confidence in your own ideas. If you don’t show confidence in your own ideas, then others are unlikely to have confidence in them either.

Body language

This is pretty much the same as voice tone. You can project yourself positively and negatively, with or without confidence, by using your body language.

How are you coming across in general?

Are you being rude or condescending, not treating people with respect? This can put people on the defensive. If people are being defensive, they will be focusing their energies on dealing with that, or thinking of ways to attack you back, instead of listening to you and any ideas you may have.

What to do now?

Self-awareness is almost always the best place to start, and this is no exception. Do any of the above reasons apply to you? You may have to think hard to determine if they do.

Once you think you know why people are not listening to you, it may only be a minor change in the way you deal with people that could have a massive impact on whether others listen to you or not.

Sometimes it’s not your fault

People can be the victim of discrimination based on negative stereotypes. This can lead to people not listening to you out of prejudice. I talk about one example of this in the following article. Is there prejudice and bias against introverts?

These prejudices can also be due to gender, appearances, race, religious beliefs, and even being somewhat eccentric in temperament.

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  1. How uninformative.
    I came here trying to adress people who will not agree 2+2=4…
    So screw facts, I guess?
    The earth is flat.
    I would advise getting new tinfoil hats, but we should wait fir this formidable author to tell us: it is all your fault: maybe you folded the shiny part up or down, or it was the wrong lunar phase…
    Regardless: the problemis you!!! Repent!

    1. This post was focusing on things that can be done in situations where the individual can improve.

      You’re right, sometimes we are the victims of negative preconceptions, which is not always the fault of the individual. I have updated the page to reflect this.

  2. I respectfully suggest even beginning the article by siting both categories, and then explicitly defining rather than seemingly just assuming, the scope of what then follows. Circumstances outside of individual control are often frustrating. Indeed, everyone needs to talk, but who wants to listen? In the words of Simone Weil: “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”

  3. If a person has a rigid preconception or belief about something, they won’t listen to alternative views anyway, so sometimes talking is pointless. Egos often get in the way, which is also why creativity is often restricted within group situations.

    I also think that quote comes from a place of arrogance and simplistic thinking, sometimes attention is the last thing a person wants.

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